Pray. Pray unceasingly. But be careful how you pray. Pray for patience, and you will be put in situations that force you to use or develop patience. Pray for strength, and you will be put in situations that will test your skills of strength. Lately, all I can pray is "Okay, God, You take this because I am too tired and too inadequate to handle it."
My dear, dear friend and former pastor, Roland Boyce, has always counseled me about HOLDING PATTERNS. Since 1976, when I first met he and his wife, the words have taken up residence in the largest space of my brain. HOLDING PATTERN. I've been in one holding pattern form or another for 45 years. And, you cannot rush them. All you can do is wait...another prayer...wait...and when the time is right progress will happen.
Several situations require that right now. My health is at the top of the list. The severity of the autoimmune diseases' progression is visible in so many ways. Decisions need to be made about medications and plans of financial responsibility on how to pay for those treatments. Autoimmune treatments are extremely expensive. I'm not an extremely expensive girl.
An inevitable move is going to happen, but I don't know when. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know if it will be a solo journey or a cooperative one. Do I spend money to plant my garden, or do I hold a giant garage sale and sell off what I can, including the bricks that I plant in? There again, more financial stability adventures to conquer.
Agents have my current manuscript and hopefully one will accept it and pitch it for traditional publishing. A waiting game...a holding pattern.
The certainty of this is that I know God is in control. I HATE HOLDING PATTERNS with a passion. Just ask Rol. I am not a waiting type girl. And yet everything happens in its own time, its own season, and if I hurry things along or drag my heels, I may miss the blessings that God has for me. Therein lies the biggest problem. I don't want to miss the blessings, but I can't stop worrying about finances, medications, and the outcome of where I will wind up. The anxiety of that makes me tired, no exhausted. It's one thing to hear the words "Cast your burdens upon me and I will give you rest." and to actually do it without taking it back as if I know best. It's kinda like taking the bag of trash to the curb, having faith someone will take it, then going back and pawing through it because you may have tossed away something you shouldn't have.
I don't know where I'm going with all of this other than to say thank you to those who are and have been along side me on this roller coaster that is my life. And thanks to my Heavenly Father for always having my back, even though sometimes I don't feel it.
My dear, dear friend and former pastor, Roland Boyce, has always counseled me about HOLDING PATTERNS. Since 1976, when I first met he and his wife, the words have taken up residence in the largest space of my brain. HOLDING PATTERN. I've been in one holding pattern form or another for 45 years. And, you cannot rush them. All you can do is wait...another prayer...wait...and when the time is right progress will happen.
Several situations require that right now. My health is at the top of the list. The severity of the autoimmune diseases' progression is visible in so many ways. Decisions need to be made about medications and plans of financial responsibility on how to pay for those treatments. Autoimmune treatments are extremely expensive. I'm not an extremely expensive girl.
An inevitable move is going to happen, but I don't know when. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know if it will be a solo journey or a cooperative one. Do I spend money to plant my garden, or do I hold a giant garage sale and sell off what I can, including the bricks that I plant in? There again, more financial stability adventures to conquer.
Agents have my current manuscript and hopefully one will accept it and pitch it for traditional publishing. A waiting game...a holding pattern.
The certainty of this is that I know God is in control. I HATE HOLDING PATTERNS with a passion. Just ask Rol. I am not a waiting type girl. And yet everything happens in its own time, its own season, and if I hurry things along or drag my heels, I may miss the blessings that God has for me. Therein lies the biggest problem. I don't want to miss the blessings, but I can't stop worrying about finances, medications, and the outcome of where I will wind up. The anxiety of that makes me tired, no exhausted. It's one thing to hear the words "Cast your burdens upon me and I will give you rest." and to actually do it without taking it back as if I know best. It's kinda like taking the bag of trash to the curb, having faith someone will take it, then going back and pawing through it because you may have tossed away something you shouldn't have.
I don't know where I'm going with all of this other than to say thank you to those who are and have been along side me on this roller coaster that is my life. And thanks to my Heavenly Father for always having my back, even though sometimes I don't feel it.
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