I'm a firm believer in the creation theory: I believe in a Creator who has made everything (some things we are just discovering because our minds have evolved to understand them now) for our good. I believe there are Celestial beings who watch over and guide us. I believe there are energies at work in others as well as in the universe itself that guide us and teach us where we are to be and what we are to do.
So, when you can't pray or meditate, what do you do? I used to talk to God all the time and audibly hear answers. I still get the random messages, but nothing like before. Those messages still come at the right time, for the right reason, and for the right people, thankfully.
I spent more time praising than asking, and I wonder if those words being so repetitive even have an impact. It's like going to church and reading The Lord's prayer or the Nicene Creed off the bulletin or from the hymnal when you've recited it so many times you know it by heart.
The joy of knowing Someone's got my back is gone, yet I still believe there's Someone protecting me from myself. That probably makes no sense.
Get involved, some say. Go to church, some say. Confess your sins, some say...all good and fine things to do. Personally, being involved in a hypocritical group of like minded individuals is the last place I want to go. Saying I'm sorry is a rote thing for me...I usually look skyward and raise my hands when I screw up and say...ok, I know...
Are we penalized because we don't, we can't pray? Is our spot in the afterlife reduced because of it? I have no clue. All I know is my spirit seems in shock. Maybe it's because of the sad state of our country, maybe it's because there seems to be less and less truth in individuals I once trusted. Maybe I've become so cold that it doesn't matter.
Today I was reminded by a dear friend that I need to stay plugged into the Source. I'm the one who's dropped the ball with the meditation and connection. I know that. Now to rectify that. I must set aside some time each day to center myself, to reflect on where I am and what my life means in the grand scheme of things. I must stop reading things that affect me in a negative way...whether it be the good fortune of my author friends, the sadness of war and violence, or hundreds of other things that capture my attention.
I need to let go...let go of the clutter (I spoke of this in an earlier blog post), let go of people who are no longer immediate in my life. The most important thing I need to do is take care of me, and I'm telling you, that's the most difficult thing for me to do. I can care for others until I am bone weary, but when it comes to caring for myself, I'm at the bottom of the list. I need constant reminders.
I know I'm not the only one who falls into this category. Please join with me as we become accountability partners in self-care. I will check in with you, if you'd like, to make sure you are taking time for you. Whether it involves centering, grounding, massage, Reiki, hands on healing, laughter, face to face conversations, journaling, or something else...please find time. And let me know your progress! :)
I'm certain if I do this, my joy will return. I have a blessed life with so much I'm thankful for...and you, my dear readers, are at the top of the list.
Until next time...may you find your peace, your joy, your place of sanity in this insane time.
With much love