December 31, 2015...adverse reaction to antibiotic/pain meds...pulled off all medications and spent the next 8 days in an excruciatingly difficult healing process.
January 17, 2016...broke out with shingles. Ten days of anti-viral medication and the shingles were gone.
January 22, 2016...woke up with unusual swelling in face and neck to collarbone. Preliminary diagnosis viral. Sent home.
January 28th, 2016...another Dr. visit. New diagnosis...mumps. Semi-quarantined in house until testing came back...negative. Back to square one.
February 4, 2016...MS Dr. visit for strange symptoms pertaining to MS. Dr. was concerned more about the facial/neck swelling. Sent to the ER...diagnosis sialadentitis and possibility of secondary autoimmune disorder. Sent home with instructions to follow up with family doctor.
February 5, 2016...followed up with GP. Ran tons of tests and two tests in the viral panel were positive...two different strains of corona virus. Home, rest, drink plenty of fluids. Jaw/face/neck swelling not going away.
February 19th, 2016...re-check at GP. Keep doing what you're doing.
March 10th, 2016...re-check. Sent to rheumatologist. Appointment made for April 15th. Sigh...another month of waiting.
March 17h...rheumatology phoned. Moved appointment to March 23rd.
March 23rd...initial appointment with rheumatology. 7 vials of blood and the dreaded "pee in a cup" later, I'm on my way home...waiting for my follow up appointment. Sigh...swelling/pain still there.
April 1st...follow-up appointment. Test for SSA showed positive. Suggestion is to have a lip gland biopsy to confirm exactly which autoimmune disorder is plaguing me.
April 4th...frustration level over the weekend grew to massive proportions. Pain, lethargy, anxiety attacks...drove to the GP office. I demanded answers...through tears because that is how I deal with anger. I don't yell/scream...I cry.
Why am I writing all of this on my blog? To show my human side. To show I'm frightened beyond words. To express how helpless I feel...I have no energy, I have no stamina, I have pain in my face/jaws, my life has been on hold for 13 weeks today. I can't focus, I can't write, I haven't worked during this time. I'm dependent upon my son to do most things and every little ache/pain sends my mind into overdrive with thoughts of death and dying.
I don't want to die. I'm not ready to die. I have stories to tell, things to do, and people to affect...yet I'm in this abyss that is lonely and dark and endless and no one is tossing me a rope of hope, a diagnosis.
Being invisible at this point is better than complaining. This isn't me....this isn't who I am...it's who I've become and I really don't like her...this person who is helpless, dependent, fragile, broken.
Oh that my joy may be restored! That my health be figured out...that my life be on track with the plan.
Cherish you! Cherish the abilities of walking and running; of pain free movement, of happiness and joy. Cherish each moment you have...please.